Time's Faded Red and Love's Deep Blue
by thatotherwriter40919
Summary: Shirayuki was only supposed to be out gathering herbs, but a rainstorm changed everything. Zen's grief for his beloved pharmacist knows no bounds, nor does his hatred for his inability to protect her. Can love truly heal or will time slowly rip the two apart? ZenYuki (ZenxShirayuki).
1. The Fallen Apple

**AN: Yeah I haven't posted in the while because I have been drafting this for the looongest time ever. Anyways, I loved Akagami no Shirayuki-hime both the manga and anime, and since there are not a lot of ZenYuki fics out there I thought that I might as well throw my two cents in as well. This will be shorter than my other multi chapter fic (for Fairy Tail called Thirteen Elements, undergoing major writers/block and rewriting) but hopefully the next update will be within the next...two-three months-ish? Anyways, read and enjoy! R &R with and feedback or comments. **

**~Alice**

* * *

"Shirayuki!" Garrack called from her desk. Surprised that the red-haired pharmacist hadn't replied she looked around. "Ryuu, have you seen Shirayuki?"

"I think she was in the herb gardens, monitoring the herbs that we planted a couple weeks back," Ryuu replied, not looking up from his notes. Garrack sighed, but what could she do? Ryuu was simply being himself, and no matter how much she coddled him, it wasn't going to change anything. Deciding that it would be best to stretch her legs, Garrack strolled towards the palace greenhouse.

"These need to be moved to a cooler environment, so perhaps we'll transfer them to the hillside garden. Aqueducts are doing fine…herbs all appear to be in good condition. Now to check the soil quality…" Shirayuki mumbled to herself as she carefully noted her observations. Humming to herself, she busied herself with running the soil through her fingers.

Unbeknownst to her, Zen had silently snuck onto the roof of the greenhouse. As he peered through the glass panels, he chuckled when she started jumping around as she worked, dancing to some inaudible tune she was humming.

A rustle from the forest surrounding the gardens caught him by surprise. Jumping down from the roof he carefully placed a hand on his sword. He had learned his lesson the first time, so he cautiously circled the entrance, but did not enter the greenhouse. "Your Highness, will you please let got of the weapon?" Zen jumped around, coming face to face with none other than the chief pharmacist herself.

"Oh, it's just you," Zen said, relaxing. "What's going on?"

"Never mind what I'm doing, Your Highness, don't you have a meeting in about five minutes?" Garrack asked curiously.

"I assure you that I do not have—" Zen paused for a second, before the realization that he was probably going to horribly late and scolded by Kiki, Mitsuhide, or even worse, Izana, set in. "Well then, I must be going. Good day to you, Chief pharmacist!" he called before sprinting back to the palace with all his might.

Garrack shook her head and laughed to herself. Knocking on the door of the grass door she called, "Shirayuki!"

The red haired girl jumped, before turning to face Garrack. "Chief Pharmacist! What are you doing here?"

"I was wondering if you could go out and pick some herbs for me," Garrack replied. When it looked like Shirayuki was about to protest, she quickly added, "Don't worry I'll have somebody else finish up the greenhouse."

Sighing in relief, Shirayuki wiped the sweat off her forehead. "What herb do you need?"

"The usual for colds and stomach pains, we're running a little low on that. Also if you could ingredients for a painkilling salve," Garrack listed. She patiently waited for Shirayuki to quickly jot the list down before adding, "Also as many Kariguna plants as possible."

"What herb is that, Garrack-san?" Shirayuki asked.

"Well, it's a pretty rare one, so I brought a picture of it." Garrack took a small piece of parchment from the pocket of her coat. A detailed sketch of a nine-petalled flower with a spikey yet curvy stalk was drawn on it. "This is the Kariguna flower. It's extremely useful in medicines and salves that treat infections."

"I haven't seen it before when I went to gather other herbs," Shirayuki worriedly commented.

"That's the tricky part. It grows on the rocky cliff that we almost never harvest from. Since it's pretty windy up there, I can't say that we haven't lost anyone to it before. Although it's not that bad of a fall, the cliff face is chalk full of sharp rocks, and there are noralia vines down there," Garrack admitted.

"Noralia? I think I once read a bit about it while helping Ryuu with his research. It has a rough skin that contains a toxin, and it's sap contains the toxin in a more concentrated form," Shirayuki worriedly commented.

"Yes, and if you land on and possibly snap them after getting all roughed up by the cliff face…well I can't guarantee anyone's survival after that," Garrack quietly replied. "But we are almost out of Kariguna, and you know the woods very well. Think of it as your second initiation. Back when I was promoted to full pharmacist, I didn't have a lot of work until after I successfully harvested the Kariguna."

Although Garrack had done her best to dissuade Shirayuki's fear, the young pharmacist still looked uncertain about the task ahead. "Don't worry, you'll do fine. I'll even give you the day off tomorrow." Smiling deviously she added, "I also heard that His Highness is also relatively free tomorrow."

"No problem Garrack-san! I'll just go grab my pack and then I'll be off!" Shirayuki shouted as she dashed towards the pharmaceutical wing. "Also if Zen comes looking for me, tell him I'm going to be out late!"

Chuckling to herself, Garrack muttered, "Sometimes I swear both of them are love-struck idiots."

* * *

Shirayuki took her time walking through the woods, occasionally bending down to pick some herbs to add to her basket. Something wet hit her shoulder. Looking up, she noticed storm clouds in the distance. _I better hurry up and get the Kariguna plants. I can always come back for the other herbs tomorrow,_ she thought to herself. She quickly picked up her basket and ran towards the cliff.

The rain became heavier the more she ran. Soon her clothes were soaked through, she could barely see in front of her. Up ahead she caught a glimpse of a tangle of vines, with nine petals on each flower. Elated, she sprinted towards the flowers, only the slip and fall past them. Flailing her arms he attempted to catch herself, but was only met with air. She saw lightning flash, and then the only thing that she felt was pain.

Zen sat on the windowsill of his chambers. He could hear the thunder roaring outside, and the rain pounding on the window. Although he knew Shirayuki knew the woods like the back of her hand, he still couldn't shake the uneasy feeling he had. _Don't worry about it, Zen,_ he chided himself. _It's not like she'll get injured, after all she trained in the mountains. Knowing her, she's probably already gotten back._

* * *

Garrack was pacing around her office. She hadn't seen Shirayuki at all, and she had yet to receive the herbs. Although it was early in the morning, she knew that the cheery red-haired girl would've woken up early to hand over the herbs so that she could spend more time with her beloved prince. Perhaps Shirayuki had overslept, or forgotten that she had the day off, and was helping Ryuu find a book for research. As she was about to go check on the youngest pharmacist, Zen burst into the room.

"Have you seen Shirayuki?" he asked desperately, he eyes quickly scanning the entire room.

"No, Your Highness. Why?" Garrack asked worriedly.

"We agreed to meet in front of the castle, since I had the day off. She was late so I went to check on her, but her chambers were completely empty this morning, it was like she hadn't slept there all night!" Zen replied anxiously.

"Quickly, follow me Your Highness," Garrack breathlessly commanded as she ran towards Ryuu's office. Throwing open the door, she yelled, "Shirayuki!"

Ryuu looked up at her. "I thought today was her day off," he said.

Garrack gasped as she realized what had happened to the red-haired pharmacist. "Get a search party Your Highness," she hissed as she ran to get salves to treat Shirayuki. Zen stood frozen in the doorway, unsure of what was happening. "She's in danger! Go, now!"

Zen paled and quickly ran towards the nearest guard post. "Guards, get a search and rescue party ready now! We leave in two minutes!"

* * *

Shirayuki felt like she was being burnt alive. The harsh light of the sun felt like a branding iron on her body. Every time she inhaled a wave of pain would crash over her and her skin was sticky with blood. Moaning, she tried to shift into a more comfortable position, only to cry out when a dull pain in her torso turned into a sharp, unbearable agony. Tears rolled down her face as she tried to endure the seemingly endless torture.

* * *

"Hurry!" Garrack cried out when she heard an agonized scream in the distance. "We're almost to the cliffs!"

"Would you mind telling me why you sent her to such a risky place in the first place?" Zen yelled at the head pharmacist.

"We were running low of Kariguna, which is an essential ingredient in many of the anti-infection salves and medicines we make," Garrack replied. Coming to a halt, she gazed at the cliffs for a moment, before quickly dismounting from her horse and carefully walking to the edge. Zen followed after over. Peering over, they both seemed to freeze for a moment before Garrack called out to the palace guards behind her. "Get some rope over here, now!"

Garrack tied the cord around her waist. The guards looked at her, puzzled as to what she was trying to do. "Lower me down," she ordered, after adjusting the bag containing various jars and vials. When the guards seemed stunned she screamed, "Lower me down, unless you want a palace pharmacist to die!" Just as she was about to start her descent, Zen grabbed her wrist.

"I'm coming with you," he growled. Somehow he had already gotten a rope tied around his waist as well. Garrack nodded her reluctant assent, knowing that if she didn't let him go now, he would simply order her to allow him to accompany her.

Shirayuki thought that she heard footfalls above her. Which wouldn't make sense, since she was at the bottom of a steep cliff. Confused, she tried to move towards the noise, which only made the pain worse. When she felt a sharp pain in her side, she couldn't hold back the scream that ripped itself from her lips. She heard a familiar voice cursing before it called out to her, "Shirayuki!" _Zen? I thought he was at the palace,_ she thought to herself. As she tried to once again to move towards the footfalls that were nearing her, she once again cried out in pain.

"Don't be stubborn Shirayuki-kun!" Garrack shouted. "You're already covered in noralia toxins, don't agitate the vines or your wounds any further!" She and Zen hurriedly finished the descent, and carefully picked their way through the tangles of thorny vines.

Zen flinched as they neared Shirayuki. She was worse that she had appeared to be from a distance. Now he could clearly see the thousands of tiny scratches that marred her skin, and the gash that ran from her hip to her shoulder. Pausing for a second to compose himself, he knelt down, cautiously avoiding thorns, to gently cup her cheek. "Thank goodness," he hoarsely said as tears ran down his face. "I thought that I had lost you." He gently wiped away the grime and blood that stained her cheeks.

"Zen," Shirayuki whimpered as tears began to pool in her clouded eyes. _I'm sorry for leaving you,_ she thought, unable to voice her feelings with her dry throat.

"Shhhh, it's fine," he soothed, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I forgive you for leaving my side." Grabbing a small flask of water, he tilted her head up. "Drink." The water felt like a cool spring to Shirayuki, and she seemed to relax slightly.

"Shirayuki, I'm going to apply some salve to your wounds," Garrack said, distracting her momentarily from Zen. "It may feel a little painful, but please bear with it." Zen silently grasped her hand, and Shirayuki gratefully squeezed it back. Garrack expertly wiped a light-green salve onto the larger cuts and gashes. Shirayuki began to shift slightly, causing Garrack to pause to ask, "Does it hurt?"

"It only stings," Shirayuki croaked out. Turning away, Garrack frowned as she began to apply the salve on Shirayuki's legs. The younger pharmacist's reaction worried her. Usually the salve she was using would cause unbearable pain as it destroyed herbal toxins. However, Shirayuki barely seemed to feel anything other than a slight sting. The noralia toxin was probably running rampant in her bloodstream by now.

Finished with the salve, Garrack quickly reached into her bag for a vial of clear liquid. "Shirayuki-kun, I'm going to give you a painkiller. It should dull the pain for now," she said. Giving the vial to Zen, she allowed the prince to give some comfort to his beloved pharmacist.

Just before she closed her eyes, Shirayuki held out her clenched fist to Garrack. Blinking in surprise, the head pharmacist opened her palm to receive what Shirayuki desperately wanted to give her. Garrack's eyes widened as she saw the crumpled stalks of Kariguna resting in her hand. _She's too stubborn for her own good,_ Garrack though forlornly as she carefully tucked the herbs in her satchel.

* * *

As Zen galloped through the woods, he held Shirayuki tightly. Even though the wind was sharp against his skin, he could feel her shallow breaths. Zen wrapped his cloak around both of them when he felt her shiver. "Please stay with me Shirayuki, only a little longer. I swear, it's only a couple more minutes," he pleaded. Shirayuki squeezed his hand weakly as if she were trying to reassure him that she would stay. Noticing her weak grip, Zen urged his horse to gallop faster.

"Zen!" Mitsuhide shouted as soon as the prince's horse galloped through the palace gates. As soon as he saw Shirayuki's limp form in Zen's arms, he dropped the papers he had previously been carrying and ran over to the returning horses. Upon seeing Zen's worrisome expression, he immediately said, "I'll go alert His Majesty that you will be occupied for the rest of the day." The prince nodded his assent gratefully before running towards Shirayuki's chambers.

"Kiki-san," Garrack called. "Can you please find Ryuu and tell him to go to Shirayuki's chambers?"

"Of course," Kiki briskly replied before running off towards the pharmaceutical wing of the palace. Garrack quickly turned around to follow the prince.

Zen was surprised at the efficiency of the head pharmacist. Not even a minute had passed after he placed Shirayuki on her bed before Ryuu burst into the chambers with a large bag over his shoulder. "Prince," Ryuu panted as he ran over to her bedside. "What happened to Shirayuki?"

"She was going to gather herbs for the head pharmacist, and she fell off a cliff with noralia at the bottom," Zen curtly replied. Ryuu's face furrowed into a small frown as he began to examine Shirayuki's battered form. "Did head pharmacist apply a salve when you found her?" he asked. Zen nodded. "Did it cause her any pain?"

"She said that it only stung a little bit," Zen curtly replied. Ryuu seemed to slouch a little more before continuing his work. Realizing that hovering over Ryuu's shoulder wouldn't do anyone good, Zen started to pace the length of the room.

"You're going to burn a hole in the carpet, Zen," Kiki bluntly said as she entered the room with a small trolley that was filled to brim with salves and medicines of all kinds. Wheeling it over to Ryuu, she tapped the young pharmacist's shoulder. Ryuu nodded his thanks as he began to examine the various remedies available. Sighing in frustration when the Prince did not stop his worried pacing Kiki leaned against the windowsill.

"Your brother has released for the rest of your duties today," Mitsuhide said as he stepped into the room. "But, he expects you to continue with them as usual starting tomorrow afternoon. Oi, Zen, are you listening?"

"Yes, yes, I understand, Mitsuhide," Zen absentmindedly replied, waving his hand in dismissal. Realizing that it was a hopeless cause to win back the prince's attention, Mitsuhide walked over to Kiki. The two shared a worried glance before turning back to watch over Zen.

Garrack came shortly later to check in with Ryuu. After listening to a few mumbled sentences from the young boy, the head pharmacist's mouth thinned into a frown and she quickly walked over to where Zen was pacing. "Your majesty," she asked cautiously, "May I have a word?" Zen quickly nodded, immediately alert. "Privately," Garrack added, motioning towards the door.

* * *

"How is she?" Zen urgently asked after shutting the door.

"I'll be blunt with you, Your Highness, she's not doing very well right now," Garrack replied. "The preliminary symptoms seemed to have already passed, she has no fever, nor is she in excessive pain due to the toxin."

"Then shouldn't that mean it's already purged from her system?" he countered, clenching his fists.

"Noralia toxin is very durable, it takes up to days to be purged in a solution that is designed specifically to destroy plant toxins. The lack of the more obvious symptoms means that it is already circulating through her blood stream. It won't be obvious at first but the toxin works slowly, in a couple days we may be dealing with potential organ failure, seizures and things that will only harm her further."

"But I recall taking Noralia poison once to build my endurance, how come I didn't experience the same?" Zen asked.

"Firstly because we gave you a dilute form. Secondly because we purged it from your system almost instantly, around half an hour after you swallowed the toxin. With Shirayuki the poison has already been in her blood for at least twelve hours. And her physical condition is different from yours, she's smaller, she overworks herself, and she has a handful of severe wounds to heal on top of trying to maintain her body against the noralia toxin." Garrack sighed unhappily, "Your Highness, we're fighting an uphill battle, and I cannot guarantee that we'll all make it out."

"So what do we do then? We can't just sit here and do nothing?" Zen shouted in frustration.

"The best we can do is try to come up with ways to treat it, which is what Ryuu will be experimenting with in the next few days, but the effect of the antidotes on her body won't be pretty. Besides that, all we can do is try to make her comfortable and…prepare for the worst." Before she broke down into sobs in front of Zen, Garrack quickly excused herself. It was all she could do to hold back her grief for the prince who's beloved pharmacist was slowly dying in front of him.


	2. The Past and Present

**AN: Hello lovely readers! Thank you so much for all the follows and reviews! Thank you for all the great reviews so far :) I really appreciate it! To all the 56 followers + other readers who were waiting for this update, thank you so much for being patient! This year has been suuupppeer busy and crammed, so I haven't had a lot of time to write (This chapter was partially drafted across my computer and multiple notebooks.) Alright, that's everything for now, since I'm still in the creative mood I'm going back to writing out other stuff as well. Stay tuned 3**

 **~Alice**

 **UPDATE: This is just to fix some typos that I found. (When I finished and revised the chapter...well it was pretty late so..**

* * *

"How are you feeling today?" Ryuu asked quietly as he prepared yet another experimental cure for the red-haired pharmacist. The first had been a strong purgative that he had brewed hoping to clean out her system. At first it seemed to relieve her fever, but in the end the respite was only temporary. Next had been bitter fever-inducing syrup in an attempt to sweat out the toxin. Many in the castle were grateful for the seemingly miraculous endurance Shirayuki had against the toxin, but as the list of failed medicines grew longer they were reminded of the limited time they had left to find a cure.

"Alright, I guess," she replied. "I just wish Garrack-san hadn't told Zen about the eventual effects of noralia." Shirayuki sighed. _He doesn't really come around anymore, it's like he's purposely avoiding me,_ she thought sullenly

"I don't think Zen is avoiding you on purpose," Kiki supplied from the chair next Shirayuki's bedside. Shirayuki squeaked and her cheeks burned bright red as she realized she had been thinking out loud.

"I'm s-sure he has, um…duties and o-other things to attend to! Yes, he probably has many royal duties so it makes sense he doesn't have time to visit me!" Shirayuki stuttered. Embarrassed she hid her flushed face in her hands.

"Well, part of it is duties," Kiki chuckled. Her smile suddenly faded as she added quietly, "But part of it is something that Zen can't help."

* * *

 _Whack! Whack!_ "Oi, Mitsuhide, are you going easy on me today?" Zen shouted as he parried another strike from his aide's practice sword.

"What if told you that I was?" the blue-haired man replied, dodging a swing from the prince.

"Then I would _make_ you to stop," Zen grunted, lunging towards Mitsuhide with a desperate jab. Unfazed, Mitsuhide easily dodged Zen's strike and lightly hitting him on the head with the wooden sword.

"Your back is wide open," Mitsuhide nonchalantly added, raising an eyebrow at Zen.

"Again," the prince panted.

Mitsuhide glared and shook his head. "You're too distracted. At this rate even Shirayuki could beat you!" he scolded. Zen flinched at the mention of the red-haired girl's name. "Sorry Zen," the aide immediately added, "I wasn't thinking."

"It's not your fault," Zen replied, sitting down on a nearby ledge. He sighed and leaned his head back, "Rather it's a flaw of my own that's causing the gap between Shirayuki and I. My father's death…that's the only damn thing I can think of whenever I go into that room."

"Zen…?" Mitsuhide hesitantly asked, afraid of the anger and hatred in the prince's eyes.

* * *

"As much as he tries, Zen will never be able to escape his past," Kiki said gravely. "He avoids you because this reminds him of the time he lost his father."

"I'm sorry, Kiki. I didn't realize I was responsible for so much of his pain," Shirayuki apologized. She bit her lip as she tried to stop the tears stinging her eyes from falling. "I'm sorry!" she sobbed when she could no longer hold them back. "If I hadn't been so foolish, if I had waited out the storm, I hadn't fallen from the cliff, I wouldn't have caused so much trouble for all of you!" Her shoulders shook as violent sobs racked her frail body.

The redheaded pharmacist was stopped by a tug on her sleeve. "Shirayuki." She looked over to see Ryuu earnestly looking into her eyes. "Prince doesn't blame you."

"Ryuu is right, Shirayuki," Kiki added. "It is not your fault. Zen must learn to accept his past on his own. Until then, all we can do is to watch over him silently."

* * *

"For the millionth time, Mitsuhide, I will not visit her in my current state!" Zen yelled as he briskly walked towards his office.

"Zen, you have to consider—" The aide was cut off by a loud bang as Zen forcefully threw open the double doors. Sending an apologetic grimace towards the startled guards, Mitsuhide quietly closed the door behind them.

"Zen you have to think—" the aide started again.

"I can't. Not while I'm still dwelling on my father's death," Zen flatly interrupted as he signed papers. A small pause followed, punctuated by the scratch of the prince's quill as he approved and managed the many royal endeavors.

"Zen-sama!" Mitsuhide suddenly shouted. Startled, Zen jerked his hand across the table, drawing a thick, black line across his papers. Curing as he knocked over his inkwell, the prince glared at his aide.

"I thought I told you and Kiki to stop with the formalities ages ago," Zen snapped.

"Zen-sama, please forgive me!"

"Mitsuhide? Wait what?" Zen asked, baffled by his assistant's strange behavior. Moments later he found himself reeling from the hard slap across his face.

"Pardon my rudeness, Zen-sama, but your behavior is unacceptable. Regardless of how justified your actions are, your behavior affects others! And at this time you are being extremely inconsiderate towards Shirayuki-dono!" Zen's eyes widened at Mitsuhide boldness. "Your avoidance has greatly upset her, in fact, she blames herself and can barely rest. Her health has been deteriorating at a greater rate ever since you refused to enter her chambers. Do you want to feel even more guilt after she passes away because of negligence?"

"You think that I don't know this? Every day I see your worried glances towards her door increasing. Every day I see Ryuu becoming more and more dejected because his medicine has not healed her." Zen roared, breaking the cold façade that he had held in place for the past weeks. "So, never assume that I have been unaware of her condition."

"You are a coward, Zen-sama," Mitsuhide replied, causing Zen's jaw to drop out of shock. "You can't even muster up the courage to face your own inner demons for the sake of someone close to your heart. If you truly love her…" Mitsuhide started. Zen spluttered as he heard the comment and glared at the blue haired man. "Don't even give me that look, you know it's true," his aide quickly added. "If you do, then for her sake, you should go see her. If not to ease your mind, then to soothe her worries and doubts."

Zen rose from his desk. "I'll go," he sighed. "But on this condition, please stop being so formal!" the prince added with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "And clean and reorganize my papers." Giving a sardonic wave goodbye, Zen smirked before quickly exiting the office and slamming the doors firmly shut behind him. Chuckling to himself, Mitsuhide silently listened to Zen's fading footsteps before turning back to face the more urgent task, the prince's desk. Paling at the sigh of the jumble of parchment, ink and quills stacked to precarious heights, the aide wondered if he would ever be able to fulfill the ridiculous demand.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: SO...it's been about a year since I posted. To all my readers-a huge apology for going MIA...I'm in my junior year of high school...so it's been pretty rough. Of course this is by far not a good excuse for not writint...but there is more to it. So...Thank you so much for all of you who continued to review, favorite and follow this story. I cannot be grateful enough for all of you who continued to ask and encourage me to write this update, thank you for not giving up on this fic 3 It's been a slow year...but there is an explanation...;). I will be uploading a very belated holiday themed one-shot sometime tmrw...with an explanation and a few updates on what you can expect next year.**

 **Anyways, we're only a few hours away from 2017~ Thanks for sticking with me for another year and looking forward to continuing to write and hearing back from you guys via. reviews!**

 **PS: this is a very unedited version...so may upload a rewrite tmrw as well. I really wanted to get you guys this update before the new year**

 **Cheers and HAPPY NEW YEAR 3 ~Alice**

* * *

Zen froze when he heard a sudden rustle. Scrutinizing the tree branches and bushes, he berated himself when he didn't find anything overly suspicious. Sighing in relief, he turned back to continue his path into the woods, only to find himself face to face with dull yellow eyes.

"Hello, Master."

Jumping in surprise, Zen reflexively launched a fist towards his knight. Unfazed, Obi caught the sloppy right hook, raising an eyebrow at the prince's disheveled state. Mud was spattered all over his cape and boots, and a fair share of twigs had burrowed into his silver locks. What Obi found most amusing were the small scratches all over Zen's face. (Not that seeing his liege injured gave him any happiness.) It seemed that the prince's face at one point, had become acquaintances with a thorny hedge in a rather entertaining way, most likely in his hasty escapade from the castle.

Knowing that his laughter would only further antagonize Zen, Obi hid his chuckle with his cough before asking, "What are you doing here, Master?"

"What are you doing, you idiot? How many times have I told you not to run around swinging from tree branches?" Zen exclaimed, shaking his fist at Obi.

"Yes, yes, I know. It is not befitting of someone of my status and what not." Obi leaned against a nearby tree crossing his arms. "My question is," he added, "why aren't you with Shirayuki?"

Zen seemed to deflate instantly. Exhaling in defeat, he mumbled, "I'm assuming that Mitsuhide has already informed you of his _talk_." Walking forward, he made it to a small clearing before sinking into the slightly damp grass. Putting his hands behind his head, he closed his eyes and lay there.

"I was wondering when blue-head over there would lose it," Obi chuckled. "I thought every time he saw you he was going to either have a coronary or explode."

"Shut up Obi." Zen opened his eyes to glare at the man, only to find Obi staring at him thoughtfully.

After a long pause, the warrior cleared his throat. "Pardon me master, but these do not look like miss's chambers."

Zen sardonically replied, "I drank myself into a stupor and wound up here instead of in the palace." Obi stayed silent, he knew a sullen Zen when he saw one and he was not about to get caught up in one his master's temper tantrums.

"If you want to scold me, you might as well do it now," the prince groaned as he sat up.

"I wasn't. I just think that miss needs your company more than I do at this moment," Obi countered. Another healthy pause followed his response.

"Did you ever, you know, _love_ someone?" Zen asked hesitantly. "I mean it did seem like you had some history with that girl that we met with a couple months ago."

"Oh, you mean Torou? If it had been love I would still running around as a freelance rather than staying here." (A/N: She's the gypsy/assassin that used to work with Obi.)

"There was nothing between you?" Zen skeptically questioned.

"Sure there were a few drunken kisses here and there, but nothing serious." Obi shrugged. "To be honest master, I'm not the best person to seek romantic advice from."

"Yeah, but I can't go back and ask Mitsuhide, not after I ordered him to clean the study," Zen sighed. "And I most certainly will not bother Kiki with this."

"So you only chose to ask me because you had no one left. I'm so hurt!" Obi clutched his heart mockingly as he leaned against the rough bark of a tree.

"Shut up," the prince grumbled. "If you're not going to help me, I'll just leave you be." Scowling, he stomped towards the palace, grumbling about the inability of any of his male aides to be of use.

"Master!" Obi called after him. "You might want to look into a mirror before you go see miss!" Noticing the lack of response from Zen, Obi muttered to himself, "Or you may end up causing her more distress."

Leaning back into her pillows, Shirayuki rubbed her temples in an attempt to ease her headache. Ryuu and Garrack had already told her to get some sleep, but she was feeling much to restless after lying in bed for weeks on end. _Thump, thump, thump._ Shirayuki looked up from the book she was reading. Candlelight illuminated her otherwise dim room. "Who is it?" she called.

"It's me," a voice replied.

"Zen…?" she hesitantly asked. She began to wonder if she was dreaming, for she had been sure that Zen would continue to avoid her for at least another week.

A long silence followed before a shaky "Yes," was heard from the other side of the door.

"Come in." Swallowing nervously, she placed her book on the bedside table.

Taking a deep breath, Zen gently pushed the wooden door open, waiting for the dull thud of the door before slowly walking towards her bedside.

Shirayuki took a deep breath when she saw his silhouette at the door. Her eyes followed his shadow as Zen slowly made his way towards her. She gasped when he stepped into the candlelight. "Zen!" she exclaimed worriedly after she caught sight of his disheveled state. "What happened to you?"

"I'm fine, I just went for a quick run through the woods," he replied nonchalantly as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"You aren't fine! You have dirty cuts all over your face! What if they get infected?" She snatched a wet cloth from the basin and leaned towards the prince. A sudden wave of dizziness overwhelmed her, causing her mouth to form an 'O' of surprise as she crashed face first into Zen's shoulder.

Quickly wrapping his arms around her, Zen gently placed Shirayuki's head back on her pillows. "I'll go clean up now, so stay where you are," he said sternly as he covered her with a blanket. As he stood up he felt a weak tug on his shirt and turned to see Shirayuki grasping his tunic. "Don't go," she mumbled.

"I'll only be a moment," Zen replied. "He gently laid her down and covered her with a thick blanket, frowning when he noticed how thin she had gotten since had last sawn her. He let out an exasperated sigh when he noticed that she refused to close her eyes. Leaning down he pressed a kiss on her forehead, his lips brushing her skin as he murmured, "Don't worry about it, just get some rest," before softly padding away towards the washroom.

"But that you said that last time," she murmured softly, hoping he wouldn't notice as she wiped away a stray tear.

Zen froze when he heard soft sniffles coming from Shirayuki's chamber. Dropping the washcloth, he raced towards her side. Her body was shaking with muffled sobs, her face buried in the pillow, her pale hands tightly clenched around the thick fabric of the blanket. "Shirayuki!" he cried out, alarmed at the state she was in. He ran his hands over her arms, trying to ascertain the cause of her suffering.

"Are you in pain?" She shook her head. "Should I call Ryuu?" Her head shook again. "Kiki and Mitsuhide?" His voice shook as he struggled to hold his temper in check. Shake. "Obi?" Shake. "Then what do you need?" he shouted, unable to restrain his frustration. "Dammit, stop being so stubborn for once in your life! You've already become a pharmacist, so stop being afraid to rely on people!"

Guilt sliced through him when he saw her flinch from his grasp. Taking a shuddering breath, he loosened his grip on her shoulders and slowly slid down to his knees, burying his face in the warm blankets as she continued to cry. "Shit, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry about everything, but please tell me why you're so upset," he pleaded. "I've already been such an utter _ass_ towards you, I didn't even visit you because I couldn't put your feelings before my own. I've failed you so much during the past weeks. But please don't hide away whatever it is that causes you so much pain." He paused as a hot tear trickled down his cheek. "Please don't let me fail you again. Whatever you need, I'll give; whenever you want, I'll come and see you; w—" Zen stopped when he felt her gently running in hand through his hair.

"Idiot," she gently scolded as she continued to caress his silver locks, "You never failed me."

"How can you forgive me for abandoning you?" he whispered hoarsely, still unwilling to look into her honest, green eyes.

"Because you didn't fail me," she replied softly. "I failed _you_."

"What?" Zen's head shot up. "Are you crazy! I'm the one who—"

"But I forced you to stay here with me!" she shouted, jerking herself upright. Zen froze, shocked by the anger behind her words. "I still remember those first weeks, where I would beg you to stay with me," she cried, her tears now freely flowing down her face. "I knew you were in pain, yet I continued to selfishly ignore it just so I could feel better. What kind of person tramples over others' feelings like that?" She hunched over, covering her face with her hands as she continued to shake uncontrollably. "After you left, Kiki-san told me why you were avoiding me," she said quietly. "I couldn't believe that I had caused you so much pain by reminding you of your father's death. So I stopped asking for you to come. Stopped hoping that you would visit. Stopped looking for you in the doorway. If it was easier for you to stay away, then I would accept it, so that you could heal your heart."

Jumping to his feet, Zen grabbed Shirayuki's shoulders. "Why? I'm the one who left you! Why is it that you always find fault in yourself? For every time you have forgiven me, I repay you by increasing your suffering! If anything I should be the one at fault!"

"But it isn't your fault!" she shouted. "It's not your fault that you think about your father's death! It's a normal reaction to losing someone that precious at a young age!" She paused, as if afraid to continue on. Clenching her fists, she pierced his blue eyes with her own honest, green gaze. "I refuse to be another person who brings you harm! I will not be another reminder of your father!"

Zen's eyes softened as he raised his hand to brush away her tears. The mattress sank as he slowly eased himself next to Shirayuki. "You are not my father," he whispered slowly. "I was an idiot who was stupidly blinded by the past, an idiot who was held back by ghosts."

"But it wasn't your fault," Shirayuki mumbled, looking down.

Bringing his other hand to cup her face, he turned her head so that she was once again looking into his eyes. "Regardless of whose fault it is, I will not let my past continue to hurt you."

"Zen, I…"

"Let me finish," he interrupted. He chuckled when she began to pout, but quickly schooled his features into a somber expression. "You don't need to be afraid of hurting me anymore, because I have moved on from the past. I shouldn't have let that affect our…um…relationship." She giggled when his face flushed red as he struggled to continue with his sentence. "Anyways, I hope you can forgive me for distancing myself from you. And," he added with a playfully stern glance, "in the future you— _we_ need to stop being afraid of relying on each other." Shyly, Zen grasped her hands, his thumbs smoothing over her calloused palms. "Promise me, Shirayuki," he insisted as he leaned closer, looking into her green eyes.

"Okay, Zen," Shirayuki whispered with a smile. "I promise." Then she closed her eyes and leaned up to press a sweet, chaste, kiss against his lips. She sighed in relief as she felt his arms wrap around her waist, feeling the tension is his body give way to more tender emotions, Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her up and sat on the bed, gently placing her on his lap. Their lips continued to brush against each other as their arms wound around one another, the red haired pharmacist burying both of her hands in her prince's silver hair as he pulled her body against his.

It occurred to Zen as he held his precious red-haired pharmacist in his arms; he was in awe of how forgiving and accepting she was. Gently pulling away, he captured her in a tight embrace and pressed a kiss into her vibrant crimson locks. "I love you, Shirayuki," he murmured. Leaning down their emerald and sapphire eyes met. "I love you, Shirayuki," he said, this time with more certainty and conviction. "I think before this, I...I didn't realize that I could lose you this easily, so I took you for granted. I made so many excuses—I kept telling myself that I could wait to court you properly, that I _should_ wait because of your position. But in the end, it was simply because I thought you would always be by my side." He gently cupped her face, letting a finger brush across her flushed cheeks. "So tomorrow I'm going to ask my brother to allow me to officially court you."

"What? Zen, you can't be serious!" Shirayuki exclaimed. "His Majesty Izana has other important matters to attend to! Besides, your brother…has made his opinion of me very clear."

" _You_ don't need to worry about that part, _I'm_ the one that's doing the talking," the prince teased. "All you have to do is say yes…if you're sure about this." He nervously looked into her eyes, trying to gauge her reaction to his impromptu announcement.

"I am saying yes, but your _brother_ _ **—**_ " she protested.

"My brother," Zen interrupted, "will not be a problem. I'm pretty sure he'll say yes…with a little persuasion."

"Do I even want to know what this 'persuasion' is?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow at her prince.

"You don't." Zen suddenly blushed, as he felt Shirayuki shift against his torso. Hell, she was practically sitting in his lap! Seemingly realizing the same thing, the two jumped apart, turning away from the other to hide burning cheeks. "Sorry, I didn't realize…I didn't mean to…it was," the prince stammered, pointedly looking at the wall across from him.

"I-it's alright!" Shirayuki replied, her voice shaking with embarrassment. "I...I didn't mind it…at all," she mumbled.

"What?" Zen replied. "I couldn't hear you."

"Nothing! It was nothing!" Shirayuki quickly pulled the covers over her heated face. "I should probably rest right now," she said softly.

"Yes, of course. I'm sure a good night's sleep will help with the dizziness," he replied as he rose from the bed. "Goodnight, Shirayuki. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Zen…wait," Shirayuki called as she watched him leave. "Can you…stay?" she asked. "You can rest here," she said, patting the blankets beside her. Zen shot her a dumbfounded look he struggled to reply. Ignoring the sharp bite of disappointment in the pit of her stomach, she turned away from the doorway and bit her lip before adding, "Never mind. I shouldn't have asked." She closed her eyes waiting for his footsteps to fade away, but they shot open when she felt the bed creak as someone eased himself next to her.

She rolled over, and was rewarded with a gentle smile from Zen. "Don't worry, I'll stay here until you fall asleep," he whispered as he tucked the covers around her. "Besides," he added, "I need to make up for my absence somehow, don't I?"

"Thank you," she whispered back, scooting closer towards his warmth. "Do you mind?" she asked as she laid her head on his chest, sighing contently when she heard the steady beat of his heart against her cheek.

"Not at all."

And that was how they stayed that night, the red-haired pharmacist lulled to sleep by the lullaby of her prince's heart.


End file.
